It's that time again folks. Put down your Pens, ignore your boss and let's get into some Balboni Brain Teaser Trivia. Good Luck.

What 20-year old infielder did the Yankees acquire from the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1975, that was still wearing a Yankee uniform on opening day 1988?

The answers will be in the comments section later today, if someone puts it there or we will post it.

Dear A.J.,

We would like to cordially invite you to this dinner we are hosting. We only invite the pitchers that we feel are headcases, bipolar, panzy like, girly, inconsistent and just foolish.

So far for dinner we have confirmed Dontrelle Willis, Hideki Irabu, Joba and Chan Ho Park. We would be delighted if you could also join. Please bring your high ERA, lack of command and some of the meatballs that you have been serving up.

A.J. Burnett looked completely lost tonight giving up eight earned runs in 4 2/3 innings against the Toronto Blue Jays.

Tampa is now tied with the Yankees for 1st.

Monday
TOR: Morrow (7-6, 4.62 ERA)
NYY: Burnett (9-8, 4.52 ERA)

Tuesday
TOR: Romero (8-7, 3.46 ERA)
NYY: Moseley (1-0, 3.24 ERA)

Wednesday
TOR: Marcum (10-4, 3.24 ERA)
NYY: Hughes (12-4, 4.07 ERA)

This one was doomed from the start.

We are still looking into a theory that Girardi was half asleep when he picked Sunday's lineup. Lance Berkman, aka Big Puma, continued to look as if he never played an inning of baseball in the major leagues, but did manage to get his 1st hit as a Yankee.

Austin Kearns made a great impression going 0-2 with a strike out and looking as if he was still playing for Cleveland with a lack of intensity. Kerry Wood was the only bright spot as he has all but pushed Joba out of his role with 3 K's in this game.

Girardi intended to rest A-Rod and Gardner, only to be an Indian giver, putting them both into the game.

Girardi's weak response to defending his move below:

"They didn't play a full game, they weren't out there a lot,'' Girardi said. Earlier on he was asked what he thought of not putting A-Rod in today. "That would be wonderful.''

As you can see, A-Rod did not have a wonderful day as he ended up striking out looking in his only at bat.

Tampa is only 1 game out of 1st and breathing down the Yankees necks. We later found out that the stingray driving the car in the picture above was arrested for speeding and running a red light. He claimed that he needed to get back to the water, but the cops weren't buying it.

Not only does A-Rod have home run problems, he also has money problems.

A-Rod is due $24.9 million in deferred compensation by the Texas Rangers. This goes back six years after he was traded to the New York Yankees, and he tops the list of the unsecured creditors in the Rangers' bankruptcy case.

Similar to the Mel Gibson tapes, we were able to get our hands on a tape that we assume isn't A-Rod, but it makes for an interesting story if we say it is.

Transcript of the tape:

A-Rod: Where's my money? Where's my money?

-beats the crap out of Brian-

A-Rod: Yeah you got money to pay for fake mustache huh? Yeah how.. how much you pay for that fake mustache?

-shoots Brian's knees-

Brian: Ahhh!!!!

A-Rod: Don't make a fool out of me man. Don't make a fool out of me. I want my money. I want my money.

It is no secret that A-Rod wants his money. We also actually have an accurate quote from his lawyer.

"Out of an abundance of caution, Rodriguez files this limited objection due to potential uncertainties" about other bidders' plans, his lawyer, Joseph Wielebinski, wrote in a motion filed Wednesday.

It will be interesting to see if the Rangers in fact pay A-Rod.

As the hunt to become the seventh member of baseballs 600 homerun club continues, Alex Rodriguez (whose been stuck at 599 for three and a half years) maybe feeling the pressure of the incredible milestone.

Since joining the Yanks after the 2003 season, A-Rod has always been thought of as a fugazi Yankee. From 04-08, he was a dismal 2 for 106 in post season at bats with 120 strikeouts (stats were provided by young Timmy Walker, a local high school intern who we really trust).

He’s had to deal with the scandal of a messy divorce and infidelity on his wife with several homely looking women.

But the most pressure has come from his long time “friend” and teammate Derek Jeter. Jeter has been the face of the franchise and the consummate Yankee since his first at bat in the mid-90’s. Even people who hate the Yankees love and respect Jeter.

He’s a winner on the field (4 world series rings, MVP awards) and off (Mariah Carey, Vanessa Minillo, Jessica Biel, numerous Victoria’s Secret models etc) …)

Statistically, there’s more for A-Rod to worry about. Jeter is closing in on his career 3,000th hit. At this point, he’s at 2,863, 137 away. But at the rate A-Rod is going yard, the race for a milestone is closer than expected.

Last night, someone apparently slipped several ex-lax tablets into a cup thought to be Jeter’s. When our intern Timmy Walker took a sip and made a hasty jaunt to the latrines, suspicions turned to A-Rod.

“I can’t believe he would do that.” Manager Joe Girardi said. “Sabotage his own teammate? In the middle of a pennant race?”

It sounds strange, but it’s not the first time something like this has happened. We sent Timmy Walker to the archives and he discovered another similar instance of teammate tomfoolery.

June 15th, 1868. In what was supposed to be the first game on the history of baseball the Cincinnati Colorful Red Parkas were set to take on the Syracuse Silly Clowns. 2B Tupper McSqueeze had fully expected to be leading off the game for the Parkas, and thus, leading off the history of baseball. When he saw the lineup card, and saw he was hitting second behind rookie outfielder Ebenezer Von Oldst, he was fit to be tied.

Laws weren't as strict back then, so before the game, he challenged him to a clubhouse duel. Just before, he pulled the old 'swap-the-other-guys-real-gun-for-a-fake-gun' gag and won the shootout (thus losing)

The game, and the inaugural season was canceled, and the teams were all re-aligned. Baseball would be postponed a year,, and McSqueeze would never play again. There is no record of this event anywhere in the world, so don't bother trying to look it up, just trust us.

Back to today.

“A-Rod has always been 2nd fiddle to Jeter.” Timmy Walker reported. "A-Rods Ringo, Jeter's Paul. A-Rods Robin, Jeter's Batman. This is his one chance to shine and take the spot light. I just hope he doesn’t crack.”

With that, the report ended. It was after Walker's bed time.

Friday
NYY: Hughes (12-3, 4.04 ERA)
TB: Davis (8-9, 4.32 ERA)

Saturday
NYY: Vazquez (9-7, 4.54 ERA)
TB: Garza (11-5, 4.06 ERA)

Sunday
NYY: Sabathia (13-4, 3.15 ERA)
TB: Shields (9-9, 4.79 ERA)

It's about time that we give you an inside look at Joe Girardi's metal chompers. The 45 year old manager of the New York Yankees apparently has an obsession with braces, headgear, teeth whitener, floss and retainers.

While braces are mainly used on children and teenagers, adults can also apparently wear them. It is very rare to see an adult with braces, because it looks foolish and by the time you are an adult, there really isn't a need, but Joe begs to differ.

We have heard all the nicknames: "Metal mouth", "tinsel teeth", "brace face" and in Girardi's case "Copper Camel-faced Chomper Catcher," which we are still trying to figure out what it even means.

But why? Why would someone wait until they are 45 years old to get braces? Are we to assume that Girardi wants to fit in at Chucky Cheese? I mean they have great pizza and the arcade is fun, but would that be worth getting braces? Can he still eat Taffy? If he walks through a metal detector, does the machine start buzzing? If he bites down on a fork, would there be sparks? These are some very valid questions that you the readers need to have answers to.

We talked to a receptionist in training at a dental office near Yankee Stadium. His name is Seth Gumms and we have deemed him pretty much a professional in the area of Dental care. We decided to fire off some tough questions in hopes we could find out some more information about Girardi's obsession with straight teeth.

We asked Gumms how often he sees Girardi.

"Joe walks by here from time to time." said Gumms.

We also asked him if he ever stopped by the office for a cleaning, flossing, tongue scrapping or anything involving his pearly whites.

"Nope, we see him on TV once in awhile. We usually try to pause the TV to get a look at his grill, but that's about it." said Gumms. "Actually, I am pretty sure he has a restraining order on me and my buds."

We were blown away to find out how little Gumms actually knows about the braces. He has all of that experience, yet knows less than the CEO of BP.

Girardi's obsession with his teeth shouldn't come as a surprise as he is also a known health enthusiast and has banned sweets such as ice cream and soda from the clubhouse. He once held Ramiro Pena under water until he let go of a Sunkist orange Soda and had Jose Miranda in a headlock until he passed out, for eating a banana split at 1st base.

Monday
NYY: Vazquez (8-7, 4.68 ERA)
CLE: Masterson (3-8, 5.25 ERA)

Tuesday
NYY: Sabathia (12-3, 3.13 ERA)
CLE: Tomlin

Wednesday
NYY: Burnett (8-8, 4.77 ERA)
CLE: Carmona (10-7, 3.51 ERA)

Thursday
NYY: Moseley (0-0, 4.22 ERA)
CLE: Talbot (8-9, 4.08 ERA)

The Joba situation seems to be getting tougher each day. We have learned that the last minute trade opportunity (see earlier story) with Seattle fell through in the wee hours of the night.

Gordon Halibut explained what the heck happened:

"The Yankees were just asking for way too much in the deal. We didn't want to part with both the frozen fish sticks and the pile of lint for Joba. It just wasn't fair." He said.

The Yankees had devised a plan to put the lint in the bullpen and have the fish sticks available to come off the bench late in the game. We could not reach the fish sticks for comment. We are starting to think that the they (fish sticks) can't even answer a phone, more less give us any constructive feedback. We will stay focused on the story and expand every resource possible here at Bronx Goblin to keep you up to date with the latest news.

Joba was at it again yesterday as he gave up 2 runs with 1 inning of work. His stellar ERA stands at 5.95. As a direct result of Joba inflicted stress, 14 people were rushed to the hospital complaining of strokes and fainting when Joba entered the game.

If Joba is going to be the bridge to Mariano, I would suggest wearing a life jacket and keeping a parachute close by. It seems like the practical thing to do.